Christmas Expat Style

We celebrated last Christmas with a breakfast picnic at Cottesloe Beach, a stone's throw from the Indian Ocean. Oh the novelty of it all -- blazing sunshine and 95 degrees at 7:00am, surrounded by hundreds of Aussies and their families, a sea of beach umbrellas, lots of happy, noisy children and the occasional surfer or sea gull. We enjoyed it so much that we forgot about the time and had to rush to get to church services on time. With no time to go home and change, we dusted the sand from our feet into the car, rushed into church and sat in the back, hoping no one would notice our extra-casual attire (shorts, flip flops, t-shirt).

Our first Australian Christmas was fun and memorable, but we couldn't bring ourselves to spend a second Christmas away from family. So off we flew to America and a mere 29 hours later, set foot on Texan soil. With temperatures in the 90s in Perth, I had to force myself to pack winter clothing but within hours I was glad I did.

Part of the Deal
One reality of expat life is that vacations are usually longer than normal (3 weeks this time) and never long enough. I used an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of all the doctor, dentist and business appointments we had to fit in before Christmas. Not to mention Christmas shopping, time with the kids and catching up with friends. In 2 weeks we fit in trips to Katy, San Antonioand Austin. I apologize that we could not see everyone during this visit, but if we missed you this visit, we'll try again next trip.

Another reality is what I call the "repatriation curve."  That's the situation where you're overwhelmed by your new culture and all its differences. We experienced this last year while learning to drive on the left side of the road, deal with stores that close at 5:00pm, and cope with the 14-hour time difference between Houston and Perth. This year the curve is reversed. I'm now used to the fact that Aussies don't treat Christmas as a big deal. There's minimal decoration in malls and stores, no significant difference in shopping patterns, and I didn't hear a single Christmas carol outside of our home. Not so jolly, mate! I missed the hustle-bustle of the season, the cooking and the visiting, and of course the food. At least I thought I did. But within moments of landing we were overhwhelmed by American culture. Frosty the Snowman blaring on the speakers, tinsel and decorations everywhere, and crowds of people -- and that was just on the bus to the rental car pickup.

Mountains of shopping to do, it's freezing cold, and our home is currently occupied by another family. We sold our cars last year. Our status is that of a visitor. We're staying at the home of friends we met in Perth who are now expat in Houston. We have local cell phones and international ones. It's surreal to say the least. Where is home? Perth or Houston?

Vive la Difference
For various reasons (mostly Perth's high prices) we decided to wait and do all our Christmas shopping in Texas. Our shopping nightmares began immediately as we searched in vain for parking places within a 1/2 mile radius of a mall. Then there were the crowds of roving teens and pre-teens who weren't actually buying anything, but stood in groups of 7 or 8, blocking all paths to the stores. Once you break through and get inside the shop, the real torture begins. Noisy, tons of merchandise (everything except what you're looking for) and not a sales clerk in sight. In James Avery  I was given a numbered ticket, a catalog, and told that the waiting time for service would be 30 to 45 minutes. And they didn't even crack a smile when I asked for a pager so I could shop elsewhere during the wait. And Christmas carols? They were everywhere, day and night, nonstop. Every radio station seemed to play them to the exclusion of anything else. No oldies, no classic rock, no country western, just "Holly Jolly Christmas." I found myself longing for the mellow, "no worries" attitude of Christmas and the decor-free, crowd-free shopping centers of Perth.

We survived the shopping terrors with determination and effective strategies. The secret: shop early in the morning while teenagers are sleeping, and kids and parents are at soccer games, etc. By day 3 we no longer had to suddenly swerve to the right because we had started driving on the wrong side of the street. But folks still laughed whenever I called my phone a mobile (pronounced moh-buy-all). We had forgotten about American portion sizes. I had to remember to order "small" everything or else I'd be eating it for the next few meals also.

The Good News
The cool stuff about Houston -- everything is so inexpensive! $15 mascara costs $6 here. $100 jeans cost $50, and for the price of dinner for two in Perth we could take the entire family to a nice restaurant. My favorite scrapook store is, alas, going out of business, but I scooped up some great bargains. And books.... at prices that don't make you weep, except for joy.

Tomorrow we're off to Hawaii for a little R&R after our 'vacation' in Houston. We'll exchange out winter coats for light jackets and maybe start work on a tan. I'm looking forward to seeing the Pacific Ocean, hearing soft guitar music and feeling sand between my toes. Like the rest of our current existence, we'll be spending New Years eve somewhere between Houston and Perth.

Golf: It's flog backwards

Spring is in full swing and the weather is finally warming up. After a year of gym workouts, we've decided it's time to add some fun into our fitness routine. Vince wants to improve his golf for fitness reasons. When asked, Vince quips "Sure I golf regularly, about once every 3 years!" My only experience with golf was a lesson in 10th grade P.E. class where the grass got more of a workout than I did, and a couple of Best Ball outings at work. Not wishing to be a golf widow, I've decided to join Vince in his endeavor. After all, how hard can it be? 

On Saturday morning at 6:30am sharp, we reported to the golf pro, Mostyn, at our local public golf course. In the bright morning sun, he taught/refreshed us on the grip, stance and swing. Then over to the driving range for some practice and assessment. It was at once easier and more difficult than I remembered. Vince was a natural -- he looked comfortable as he whacked ball after ball onto the green. I struggled a bit. So much to remember! Persistence pays off, and I settled into what I hope is a bad-habit-free swing. By the end of our first lesson we were both making contact over 80% of the time. Accuracy? Mostyn says we won't have to worry about that for another month. Good thing, since most of my balls ended up across the foul line (or whatever they call it in this sport).

I woke up Sunday morning feel very stiff and sore. Kind of like after an especially hard workout. Nothing a hot shower and some Advil won't fix. That evening we practiced our newfound skills (I use the term loosely) at our local park. We had to stop every now and again to avoid hitting passing cyclists, walkers or dogs, but mostly we were unhindered. We took the camera along and used the burst shot feature to take action photos of ourselves so we could check our technique later.

This morning the stiff-and-sore demon was back. More hot shower and Advil treatment. I may be incompetent but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up! (hmmm... not sure that came out the way I wanted it to) This must be how the people on America's Funniest Home Videos feel -- the ones involved in the mishaps.

Checking out the photos on our computer was interesting. We were a hoot! So many errors, such terrible posture, but a glimmer of hope as our performance at the end of the series was better than at the beginning. I for one don't wish to maintain "hoot" status for very long, so we'll head back to the park real soon. I think we'll try the video feature next time. Between the snorts and guffaws, we could clearly see what we did well and what needs fixing.  We've got a ways to go before we can grace a golf course, but with Mostyn's help and a LOT of practice, I think we'll be "real" golfers by the end of the summer.

As long as the Advil holds out.

Yee-Haw Mate, It's the Perth Royal Show

“It’s Show Time!” broadcasts the DJ, his voice trembling with unbridled delight. “Get your tickets early to avoid disappointment! This year’s show promises to be bigger and better than ever!” For weeks the airwaves and newspapers talked of almost nothing else. It certainly got my attention – what could possibly get our Aussie community so excited?

Why, the Perth Royal Show of course! Hmm… Royal Show. Sounds like a pretty spiffy event. Probably have to dress up and get my hair done. The local radio stations brought in guests to talk about this year’s show and they kept mentioning “Show Bags.” Apparently they’re a really big deal. Does that mean I have to buy a handbag too? Okay, so now I have a mental picture of Vince and me in out dress-up clothes, me in an updo with my new purse, styling our way to the Perth Royal Show.
Talk about the wrong idea. I asked some Aussie friends about it and they replied, voices quivering with enthusiasm, that it’s one of the highlights of the year in Perth and their kids can hardly wait to go. Turns out the Perth Royal Show is in fact the Western Australian version of the State Fair. Oh, so it’s that kind of show! Glad I asked.  

The fairgrounds are a 10-minute train ride from town. Saves the bother of parking and it's cheaper too! A compartment full of fairgoers adds to the fun and promotes a festive atmosphere. 

 So Vince and I got our jeans on and moseyed over to the train station on a Saturday morning to go to the “Perth Royal Show!” (You have to shout it when you say it!)  

You can sell anything if you make it look like a woman, even wheat.

  


Rehearsing for dressage

 

You want me to squeeze what?

 The show, which really is fabulous, reveals the best of Perth, which is basically a very large country town. There was livestock, dressage, music, carnival rides, side shows, stuffed animals, food, and lots and lots of people. Attendance is around 500,000 per year. That’s 25% of the population of the state and about 70% of the population of Perth. Folks come from as far away as Broome (1400 miles to north) and Esperance (450 miles south and east) to show and sell their cattle and horses, crafts and jars of jam. The rest of us come to play, listen to music, enjoy the shows, eat, and people-watch.  

Teacup ride, Aussie style

I noticed a few interesting things along the way. The showgrounds were filled with children. An awful lot of the mums and dads had tattoos and piercings-- a sign of the times I think. Contrary to the stereotype my generation grew up with, they were polite, friendly and had extremely well-behaved children. We'd stepped back 50 years to a time when families did things together on weekends besides organized sports and there was time to relax. No one minded having to wait a few minutes for a ride or queuing at the food stands. People held hands and smiled at the chicks and piglets. Mayberry, Western Australia.

mff...we should tell Dad it's time for lunch



Excuse me, do you have a Kleenex?

Move over buddy, we're thirsty!

About those showbags. What's a showbag? Wikipedia says it's a "themed bag of commercial merchandise, and a distinctive feature of Australian shows (the local equivalent of fairs or carnivals). The bag is usually made from plastic or heavy paper, and is printed with graphics promoting a theme or manufacturer." Get a load of these. http://www.perthroyalshow.com.au/showbags.aspx Most showbags are marketed to children, with candy and toys, superhero or movie themes, etc..

For some, it's all about the shopping. Showbags galore and a Taylor Swift replica hat.

I took literally hundreds of pictures, a portion of which are visible here, or click on the link below for more. Meanwhile, enjoy the show!

How to Annoy Your Neighbours

It was an accident. Really. And it all started a couple of months ago. During our first few weeks in this apartment the fire alarm was raised several times. The culprit? An overheated clothes dryer in another apartment. The fire department took a very long time to respond to these alarms, especially after the first one. This did not sit well with building management and they complained LOUDLY to the authorities about it. We read about it in our tenant newsletter.

Fast forward to last Thursday morning. I had such good intentions. It was 6:40am. We had just returned from the gym and I thought it would be nice to have a cooked breakfast instead of cereal for a change. I dragged out the toaster and for the umpteenth time thought "I really need to replace this thing. It doesn't work very well. I should have bought the more expensive one." But I popped the bread in anyway and went to work on a cheese, tomato and bell pepper omelet. Moments later the glorious smell of coffee and eggs wafted through the kitchen, followed by -- what's that? -- burnt toast! I flipped on the extractor fan and opened the kitchen window, but I wasn't quick enough. Within seconds the high-pitched shrieks of the fire alarm filled not only the apartment but our entire building.

The culprit

My  first thought was "that's what happens when you buy a nine  dollar toaster" immediately followed by  "how do we stop this *&^%$# noise?!" I knew that after the events in May, our local firefighters would be here lickety-split. And sure enough, they were. I felt awful when I saw the lady in the apartment below standing in the lobby with her sleepy four year-old, both in their pajamas. And then I had to explain to Andrew, our safety rep, that there was no fire, just a bunch of smoke from a cheap toaster. He was remarkably understanding, considering that he is a policeman who works the night shift and had just arrived home in hopes of a good sleep.

Two firetrucks - one for each slice

Manny, Moe & Jack?

Moments later the fire brigade arrived -- two trucks worth, and sirens blaring. Guess they wanted building management to know they got the message about being responsive. In a flash they were on the 6th floor, checking out the smoke alarm and smirking at the burnt toast. It occurred to me  that this was a memorable moment, I should get a picture. Really, how many people do you know who have had the fire department called to their home in Australia? I didn't think the firefighters would share my opinion, so I snuck around and took pictures from our window rather than risk getting arrested for setting off a fire alarm under false pretenses.

On their way home. Hope they saw the humor in it!

Another five minutes worth of groveling and "no worries, mate!" and the firemen were on their way. And now I'm off to buy a $35 toaster that won't smoke out the apartment. When I get home, I think I'll bake some muffins for the other tenants. But I'll be careful not to burn them!

Transitions

This week marks our 8th month in Perth. We celebrated by purchasing a car and getting Australian Driver's licenses. Not exactly, but we did recently become the proud owners of a gray 2008 Ford Fiesta complete with automatic transmission, in mint condition, and low mileage. Ignoring the fact that all the kids now drive nicer cars than we do, Vince especially likes that the turn signals are on the left side of the steering column, just like in the states. No more windshield wipers going when he's trying to make a turn!

The car purchase is necessary because we are about to switch from expat status to the local payroll, which is bringing about all kinds of changes. We're giving up some benefits in exchange for others, so we had to give up the Hyundai i30. I'm happy to say that in the Ford Fiesta I have not bumped into a single post, nor have I ever scraped the car while parking. Some interesting facts about driving and car insurance in Western Australia.

• Australia has compulsory third party insurance which you must pay to the government when you register your car.
• If you have an accident and you are found to have been drinking alcohol, your insurance company will not pay damages for you or the other party.
• The same thing applies if you have been "driving recklessly," e.g. texting or talking on a cell phone, etc.
• Police can (and frequently do) conduct random breathalyser tests on any driver they suspect of "drink driving." If you refuse, you go to jail.

Strict stuff, but there are a lot fewer accidents here than in Texas and California. Maybe they should try it in the U.S. too.
 
It's taking a while to furnish the apartment. IKEA has become my new best friend, although I laughed the first time friends suggested it. Furniture, like many things, is outrageously expensive here. We've found some bargains though, mostly from departing expat families who either have too much furniture to ship to their new destination or don't want to take it home with them.  We now have a proper computer desk and a very cool wall shelving unit full of large cubes which hold baskets and other neat storage containers. This is the stuff that blows my hair back -- finding a place for everything and everything in its place. My boxes of scrapbook stuff now have proper homes and I might actually finish a few of them this year :-)

And the weather is changing a bit. It's getting a little warmer, the days are getting a little longer and to Vince's great joy, the first blueberries have appeared in supermarkets. It has been one of the dryest winters Western Australia has seen in some years, and folks are worried about the crops, but there are 2 months left of rainy season, so sit may work out. Encouraged by the sunny days, I am already thinking about what to do in warm weather. On my list are sailing lessons, tennis, and having "shrimp on the barbie."

Australian Politics

Australia is having a General (national) Election in two weeks. The campaigning period has been short and it's a close race. I'm not sure whether to be pleased or disappointed to learn that Australian politics can be just as confusing, underhanded and interesting as the American version.

In early May the Labor government introduced a 40% "supertax" on the profits of mining companies, which angered executives and unions across the country, but especially those in Western Australia where there's an enormous mining boom going on. WA residents are none too happy about paying out the bulk of the $12 Billion this tax would generate. In response to this action, mining industry folks aired some very clever TV and radio commercials featuring average Aussies. They're worried about a potential  mining industry collapse, job losses and mining customers going to other countries because Australian goods would become too expensive.  Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister and head of the Labor Party wouldn't budge on the tax, and the party's popularity plummeted. Panicked Labor Party leaders met in secret to figure out how to fix the problem. On June 24th Australia awoke to headlines that Kevin Rudd had been ousted in a coup and that Deputy Leader Julia Gillard had become Australia's first female Prime Minister. The vote took place very late the night before, surprising everyone, including Kevin Rudd. It worked. Julia Gillard immediately spoke of compromise with the miners and the poll numbers picked up again. After only 3 weeks in office, Julia Gillard called a General Election, to take advantage of the honeymoon period and the improved opinion of the Labor Party.


However... the opposition leads by a small margin, which they have held onto for most of the campaign. There has much talk but no action on reducing the Supertax, which is not impressing the mining industry who are traditional Labor supporters. We've seen the usual finger pointing, charges of dirty tricks, the debates, and promises of good things to come if so-and-so is elected. Individual races for MP (Member of Parliament) are especially important because Australians do not elect a President. The leader of the party with the most seats in Parliament becomes the Prime Minister. So... depending on how the election goes, Julia Gillard could become Australia's first elected female Prime Minister or the shortest-tenured one, and the Liberal Party could win back the leadership they lost in 2007, making their leader Tony Abbott the next Prime Minister.

Keeping facts straight is a bit of a challenge because Party names don't mean the same here as they do in the US. The Labor party is the left-leaning one, and the Liberals are more to the right. Julia Gillard has crafted an image of a centrist moderate, but she's an atheist (wouldn't put her hand on the Bible for her swearing-in oath), unmarried (lives with her "partner") and has no children. She was once secretary of the group Socialist Forum, and a helped found Emily's List, a group which raises money to help elect pro-choice women to Parliament. Not so average or moderate, actually. Tony Abbott, leader of the oppostion Liberal party, isn't liberal at all. He is a Roman Catholic and once studied for the priesthood (his political enemies called him "the mad monk") and is now married with 3 children. He holds degrees in Law (as does Gillard) and Economics, and began his career as a journalist.

I have the luxury of being entertained by all this because I cannot vote and our stay here is temporary. Still, if the supertax goes through there will be economic repercussions which could negatively impact the oil and gas industry, which is a bit worrisome.Here are some interesting facts about the Australian voting system.

--> Government is dominated by two main parties: Labour and Liberal. Labour is liberal and Liberal is conservative. The Liberal party is also known as The Coalition because it incorporates some other parties which have fewer than 5 members.
--> The Green party is the largest "minor" party. Minority parties often hold the balance of power in Parliament.
--> Although Australia is an independent nation, Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain is also formally Queen of Australia. 
--> Elections are frequent. They must be held within 3 years of the first meeting of a new Parliament.
-->  All citizens over the age of 18 must vote in both federal and state government elections. Failure to do so may result in a fine or prosecution. (What a great idea!)

The election will be held on Saturday, August 21st. One way or another, history will be made that day.

This and That

I'm chalking up the lapse in blog entries to writer's block and the challenge of getting settled into our new apartment. We are two floors higher than before, and have about 270 degrees of view vs. 180 at the old place. Not to mention an extra bedroom, bathroom, living space, a normal-sized, gleaming stainless steel refrigerator and two parking spaces. Haven't put a scratch on the car since we moved in.  

Perth sunrise: view from my kitchen window. Makes me want to do the dishes!

We're slowly furnishing the apartment. I know the layout of the IKEA store by heart. Eight stores and seven hours of shopping netted me a travertine-topped dining table, 6 microfiber (like suede but easier to clean) chairs and a buffet made of Marra (pronounce marree) wood.  We barely got unpacked when it was time for our first inspection. In Australia the owner of a residence has the right to inspect it as often as every 6 weeks. Typically, the real estate agent or a hired third party service does it. Sounds a bit big brother-ish to me but hey, renters can't be choosers. We passed our first inspection with flying colors. From the inspector's comments I must conclude that there is an epidemic of soap scum spreading to shower doors all over Perth, and I've heard they're thinking of making it a felony to have a dirty kitchen floor. :-D  I still love this place, and will take more photos and share them soon.

Next time... Australian blood sport - oops, I mean politics!